When You Know Better You Do Better, By Jane Whitney

Hi.   I’m a kid - a kid just like most kids.

I’m a kid that has some important     questions for some grown-ups.  Will  you  help  me  with         answers  to  my questions? Can I talk to you?

I’m two years old    and jumping for joy.   Lot’s of energy all the time. Sometimes I’m dramatic and emotional and mom and dad say “calm down”.   But I’m full of life.

So how do I calm down with all that energy?

Which way am I supposed to be?

Good       and  quiet  or  full  of      life,  playing,  learning  and
having fun which is how I learn the best    way. Grandma
keeps encouraging me to dance and    have fun.   And we

do lots of that in a whole lot     of ways.    I’m confused. One day this way, next day that way.

Am I learning … how not to feel?

Am I learning … how not to be emotional?

Is this what you want me to learn?

I just want to get it right …   so which way is it? How am I supposed to be?

I feel like I am bad. How can something that

makes me feel so good be bad to them?

What do I do with all this energy?

Whose  gonna  teach  me  instead  of  telling  me I’m doing things wrong?

Grandma says I’m feeling frustrated.   I’m starting
to learn words to describe what I am feeling and
I  can  say  it      to  mom  instead  of     acting  out.  I’m
sorry, I don’t mean to be too emotional and upset
everyone.

Hello Little One.   I’m  Jane.   Good questions!   I‘m  a retired  teacher  and  children  taught  me  what  I’ve learned.   Here are some answers for you that your parents may want to hear too.

Most moms and dads are trying to do the right thing but they’ve been raised to think kids should be calm,
just  like  their  parents  taught  them.        Often,  they

believe kids shouldn’t disturb people - like at school or in stores.    You’re right, you’re full of life and life wants  to  inspire  you,  excite  you,  flood  you  with energy to grow you. You get your greatest learning through playing.

Parents don’t realize they’re hampering your natural excitement about learning, and confusing you, when they punish you without explaining and showing you another way. When they explain to you what you’re feeling, and show you behavior  that works better, you’ll understand.   This will give a way to talk rather than scream and act out.

Why do Mommy and Daddy tell me  “no” all the
time?    “Don’t jump on the couch.”        “Don’t play

with your food.”

Little One, if they would say to you, “Jumping on the
couch is hurting the couch. Let’s find another place
to jump instead”,    then you’d understand how they
feel  and  have  another  way  to  get  your  jumping
energy out there.    You’d feel respected,    and next
time you’d respect them, and remember to not jump
on the couch.

I think a part    of me already knows it.   I just need people to guide my actions. Thanks for listening.

When  we  understand  how  we  feel  and  we understand how the other person feels   then we can do what feels good for all. That is getting along.   We all need that. 

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